Category Archives: New Beginnings

A Deeper Surrender

40 years ago I had a profound spiritual experience with God’s spirit and became a Christian. As I studied the promises contained in scripture, I found a totally different way of life: serve God first, work hard, and then we may “stand still and watch the salvation of the Lord” operating to bless us.

Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power;
and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God,
and for his arm to be revealed. (LDS Doctrine and Covenants 123:17)

I’ve seen this principle work many, many times and expressed in many different ways:

What goes around, comes around.
Virtue is its own reward.

What you send out comes back multiplied.
What you focus on increases (good or bad).

Recently, however, I found myself in a spiritual “log jam” and struggling to muster the faith to break out of it. I hit a wall with my health and energy levels, my prospecting efforts in real estate weren’t bearing fruit so my bank balance was operating on fumes, and I was finding very little time for other writing. After some deep thought and hearing about how people near me were getting great breakthroughs of energy through serving God and other people, I decided I needed to give more, trust more, and ask for more divine help.

Immediately I ran up against human resistance: laziness, procrastination, the “I’m too tired” syndrome, and just plain lack of faith that the Lord would keep His promises. However, I knew I was really stuck at a set level of contribution, happiness and success. I knew there was more to be had, and that I had extra reserves of dedication and effort within. Remembering another scripture, I decided to “experiment upon the word”:

But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. (Book of Mormon, Alma 32:27)

Moreover, I knew that experiment needed to include actually stepping out and living my faith before I could see results, and frankly I found this scary. I already felt stretched thin, tired and overwhelmed, so this required a pretty big leap of faith. But I was determined. I pictured the figurehead of a ship and set my face into the wind to forge ahead.

If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself. (New Testament, John 7:17)

Ship’s Figurehead
Courtesy Andrea Malz, Wikipedia.org

So how did my experiment turn out?

I actively sought opportunities to serve my friends, neighbors and fellow church members, I dug into some daunting family history challenges, and I worked “harder and smarter” each day. This still seemed like only a token effort – sincere but minimal. However, the results were amazing!

I was thrust into a new level of energy, connection with the universe, and success. I felt currents of love around me and through me. A For Sale By Owner property turned into a listing. Another agent paid me in advance for marketing work. Happy interactions just sprang up seemingly out of nowhere. And a spiritual healer brought welcome release from energy stuck in the past, as well as advising me to increase my salt intake for my adrenals, which worked dramatically. It was a stunning validation of the principles of faith and sacrifice. “The laborer is worthy of his hire” was utterly fulfilled, far beyond my puny efforts. (LDS Doctrine and Covenants 106:3)

I hope I can maintain this vision and level of effort – please keep me accountable. Try it, you’ll like it, as the song goes, and let us know what you learn.

Two Roatans

This week I happened on a PBS travel show in which a charming young woman was exploring exotic sites in Central America, one of which was the island of Roatan in Honduras. She hiked, scuba dived, and dined in elegant style on the their gorgeous beaches. She had a blast and learned interesting things about their culture and history.

Coincidentally, some friends had just spoken in church about their own trip to Roatan, spending six months there with their two teenagers, Ethan and Ellie. Family goals certainly included fun, but with their main focus was on serving others and learning to “do hard things” by lowering their standard of living. With no car, they walked, hitchhiked, or took buses and taxis. They only had electricity and hot water some of the time, no washer and dryer, unwelcome bugs, and a rustic home that needed frequent repairs.

The kids did home school for three months, often doing homework in a hammock, then attended a local school the last three months. It was a tough adjustment walking a mile and a half to church and over two miles to their current service project, but they hung in there. They learned to sing to pass the time and get to know people along the way. By trip’s end, the grumbles turned to good memories and gratitude for a rich experience.

What’s the difference? Our first traveler focused on fun and experienced Roatan strictly as a tourist. My friends lived the life of the locals, eating in “hole-in-the-wall” cafes no tourists ever saw or cooking their own food bought at the native market. They volunteered at the local orphanage, in a mobile dental clinic, at the local library, photographed headstones for billiongraves.com, and more. Here are some of their personal photos. I wholeheartedly recommend their blog: What I Learned in Roatan

Ethan and Ellie at Mobile Dental Clinic Used by permission, All Rights Reserved

Ethan and Ellie at Mobile Dental Clinic
Used with permission, All Rights Reserved

Ethan at Lighthouse Ministries Orphanage
Used with Permission, All Rights Reserved

Ethan and Ellie in Paradise
Used with Permission, All Rights Reserved

Roatan Library Donation Box, Painted by Mom Stephanie
Used with Permission, All Rights Reserved

I can’t help but wonder how this trip will affect Ethan and Ellie’s future, compared to kids raised with not only a silver spoon in their mouths but also in their souls, living for themselves and not so much for what they can give back to humanity.

I think of the following scripture in Matthew 16:24-27:

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.

Jesus was the ultimate example of serving others, not Himself. I think Ethan and Ellie learned precious lessons in Roatan, not just how to do good but also how to live a happier, more fulfilled life, connected to the grand, eternal cycle of life.

Two Roatans. Two perspectives in life. One on self, one on others. It’s a choice we all face. And just like the two roads that diverge in a wood, that choice makes all the difference.

The Tip of the Plow

I just finished a historical novel I absolutely loved, The Invention of Wings, by Sue Monk Kidd (author of The Secret Life of Bees). She writes about real-life sisters Sarah and Angelina Grimké from a slave-owning upper class family in Charlotte, North Carolina. They both detested slavery and were pioneers in both the Abolitionist and Women’s Movements in the early 1800’s. Ms Kidd writes an imagined inner life for Sarah and her personal slave Handful that is beautifully drawn and fairly faithful to the facts. Their passionate dedication required intense personal sacrifice but they never compromised their principles.

This story reminded me of a phrase voiced by a former real estate broker discussing levels of risk in property investment. Land is riskiest and developers are at the tip of the plow. They must invest a huge amount of money, time, and vision before they earn a single dollar. One wrong decision and they could lose it all. Certainly Sarah and Angelina were at the tip of their plow in both movements, and suffered greatly in the process.

It’s a vivid image: I picture the pioneer plow biting into tough prairie sod and the stress on it, the abrasion of stones and roots wearing the blade down quickly. The people behind the plow had to be equally tough. Others also come to mind: explorers, inventors, entrepreneurs, saints and martyrs. But are we, more ordinary people, ever at the tip of the plow? I know I have been and I have the emotional scars to prove it!

In the 1990’s I bought into a condo complex, recently converted from an apartment building. 48 different homeowners took over an aging building, electing seven of us to the first Board of Directors. We faced arcing electricity in the utility room, defective boilers and roof, plus thousands of bats under that bad roof! We buckled down, got legal advice, and solved those problems one at a time, first winning a settlement from the developers. I was treasurer and legal liaison, so many, many nights my stomach would be in knots about how to make these people accountable, how to sell extra assessments to our fellow owners so we could replace the roof, and how to unseat a volatile HOA President.

After five years, we triumphed over all these difficulties. Those of us in the vanguard were worn out and others were elected to carry on. They only had to deal with issues like enforcing the rule on uniform window coverings, kids running in the halls, and which lawn care company to use. I don’t regret my experience as it gave me the confidence I needed to tackle real estate at age 59 when I needed a change from teaching learning-disabled teenagers.

I reflected many times on the early scouts and pioneers who conquered the tough Midwestern prairie, harsh weather, and unfriendly native Americans. They were followed by the settlers who came in and built it up, in relative security. My Kent ancestors were settlers, not pioneers, building up Davenport, Iowa; opening a drugstore in nearby DeWitt; or starting the Photographic Dept. at the University of Iowa. I hope they appreciated those who came before and plowed the ground for them.

Where in your life are you at the tip of the plow? I see valiant friends stand for principle in their families, integrity in their work, or courage in the face of horrible adversity. Perhaps that’s our frontier today, where our own plow blade bites into the heart of experience.

Plowing, by Carl Larsson
Courtesy WikiArt.org, in public domain

Lessons from Plants

This year I decided to splurge on flowers, so I bought lots of “wave” pansies that did very well this spring on my back patio. Then I bought three gorgeous hanging baskets dominated by varying shades of purple, accented with white. I put two of them side-by-side in a metal “half barrel” planter which was an unbridled success. But the prize goes to the third basket hanging from the corner of my carport for all to enjoy.

This basket came in the usual plastic pot with its own hanger. I knew from experience that it would dry out quickly in its small pot, and need once or even twice daily watering. So I took it down before the heat hit full force and gingerly removed it from its pot. I lost a few small branches but not too serious. Then I struggled to get it out of the old pot and replant in a larger one which I filled with extra rich potting soil and lots of organic compost. I lost even more greenery. Then came the real challenge: placing the pot in my sturdy metal basket with real chains without more damage. After an annoying struggle with the chains trying to position the plant, I was ready to hang my prize.

The pot by this time was heavier than I wanted to lift, plus you have to get on a step stool to reach the hook. No one was around to help me and I was impatient. I thought I could hold my creation on the handle of my step stool with one hand while reaching up for the wire hanger, but disaster struck: The pot escaped the hanger, fell, and landed on the cement – heartbreak! I started all over to rescue my darling: unhooking the chains again, tenderly righting the plant, scooping soil back in the pot, and replanting the now bedraggled plants. I called a neighbor to help hold the pot high enough to reach the hook. Success finally came, but my plant was a sorry sight. I trimmed, watered, and apologized to the poor thing, then hoped nature would heal my crimes against it.

It took a while but it’s back giving pleasure to all, except for one gap that reminds me of life’s fragility, the need to respect all the steps, and not take shortcuts. Fortunately, nature is forgiving and the plant is more lush than ever. (See my photo below.) I’m like this plant, a little battered but still surviving life’s bumps and knocks.

I’ve learned lots of lessons from plants over the years. Here are a few more:

This same basket still needs to be watered daily, and twice if the temperature gets above about 98°. Remorse has made me take extra care of this plant, so I’ve gotten into the habit of “dead heading” it during my morning watering. I’m amazed at how many dead and wilted blooms I remove each day. Last week I observed that this process is a lot like self-improvement. As an adult discovering Christianity, I found I had lots of bad habits that needed dead-heading too. So as I pluck wilted flowers, I think about the unworthy thoughts and actions I need to pluck out of me.
Plants, like people, can become “root bound” – stuck in our comfort zones and missing opportunities for positive change. In plants, the roots gradually absorb much of the soil or crowd it out, then grow in tight circles around the sides and bottom of their pot. The plant suffers, producing fewer flowers and not growing. Then it just needs to be tapped out of the old pot, the root ball loosened and put in a larger pot with fresh soil. Loosening the intertwined roots often tears them, and I imagine I hear them complaining, “How could you do this to us?” – just like we complain to God when faced with a major life transition. But sometimes it’s the only way to get increased growth and productivity, in us and in plants.
Finally, “. . .whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” (Galatians 6:7). I’ve tried just putting a commercial hanging basket out and was always disappointed when the flowers drooped in the heat no matter how much you watered, their colors faded, or they just failed to thrive. This year, my basket got the royal treatment: larger pot; better, richly fertilized soil; plenty of sun and water; and finally dead heading the spent blooms to encourage maximum growth. The result is pretty spectacular – truly “joy in the harvest.”

What are you planting or nurturing? Is life repotting you? Remember you’ll bloom again!

Aligned with Grace

Back in my hippie days, I experimented with “mind control,” another name for auto suggestion or self-hypnosis. I’d sit in my rocking chair by a sunny window, close my eyes, and tell my left arm to rise in the air, all by itself. I didn’t consciously move a muscle and, in a few seconds, up it would float all on its own – groovy!

Next I experimented with positive affirmations and visualization. While in labor with my second child, I closed my eyes during painful hard contractions and visualized a cylinder down the center of my body opening easily to let the baby out. It worked! My pain just melted away and soon, holding a happy baby in my arms, I was totally high and triumphant.

After my conversion to Christianity, I learned the power of prayer and the miracle of God’s grace. It swept away sorrow, guilt, and worry – at least when I remembered to get on my knees! I’ve been blessed with guidance on hard decisions, forgiveness of my sins and missteps, and a deep healing of the wounds received from others.

The last six months or so, I’ve been revisiting my childhood patterns on a far deeper level, making different choices, and asking for yet more healing. I’ve received it in abundance and I give the glory to God. But a slightly different challenge remained: the small two-year-old within, squashed early in childhood, was finally ready to finish growing up. After trying to manage the process with my own conscious powers and regular prayer, I saw a news feature on meditation. I suddenly remembered those long-ago experiences, plus some advice from John Gray while on Oprah in the late 1990’s: What you focus on increases. So I decided to add auto suggestion to this process.

A couple of days ago, after inviting the Lord to guide this process, I created a quiet environment, got comfortable, and started saying to myself: The old is flowing out, the new is coming in. God and I are creating my highest self. I am a person of energy, creativity, and love. Then I pictured myself enjoying a newness of life.

The very next day, I went out visiting people in NW Boise prospecting for listings. I dropped in on a neighbor of sellers I represented last year and whom I’d met at my open house. We had a great chat, and she gave me several leads. Then I knocked on doors in a nice town home subdivision nearby. I had a good visit with an older couple who are planning to move during the next year. Their daughter lived next door, and her boyfriend said they would move too. I’ll keep in touch with them and felt so encouraged that I was finally on the right track with work, just as I pictured.

God was with me that day, and I felt a new maturity as that small child faced a challenge and triumphed! It was very freeing – the capstone of my efforts to build the supporting pieces: my knowledge of town home and condo management, how to research builders and tax records, what to say at the door, and finally how to decisively pass by a unkempt front door. The master architect was behind it all!

What I learned: Use the human techniques of creative change like visualization and self-hypnosis but don’t leave out God’s far more powerful grace – the real miracle worker!

Aligned with Grace
Courtesy Pixabay.com Image 167062

The Blessings of Healing and Forgiveness

Today was the first really cool morning in several weeks. As I came home from my morning walk, I decided it was the perfect time to trim my three day lily plants – all the flower stalks were dead and the ends of the leaves were brown. I snipped the dead stalks with my rose cutters and trimmed the leaves quite drastically with my kitchen scissors. It was tedious work but it looked and felt great when I was done.

I find that tending my soul is a lot like tending a garden. This week, I’m coming to the end of processing a difficult social situation in which I was unfairly judged, then talked about, and finally the butt of some nonverbal rejection – all without my knowing what prompted it – hurtful in the extreme! I went through a series of reactions:

Lord, was it me? No. But it took a couple of weeks for me to believe it even though God took away my initial pain very quickly.
Lord, how did this happen? I heard a voice in my head of the person and their original words that lit the flame of gossip.
The Lord prompted me to share my experience discreetly with a few of my friends, without naming names. They had neither heard nor participated in the loose talk, and their support was quite healing.
I felt a surge of confidence, and began looking people squarely in the eye.
I met with our group’s leader. We came to a mutual understanding and a changed role for me.
Then, for about a week, I felt righteous indignation and mentally said the words, You trashed my good name – I want it back! It felt very cleansing to acknowledge what happened and it’s effect on me, even if only privately.
Monday, all of a sudden, it didn’t feel good to be indignant. I felt myself cross a line into bitterness and petty accusation, so I decided to create a more forgiving frame of mind. I doubt those involved realized the extent of what they did.
Now I’m planning to initiate a visit with the two people who I know began this and deliver a calm “I Message” of how much this hurt me and our whole group. I’ll urge them to repent and get right with the Lord, then assure them of my well wishes. I’ll practice the wording and feelings of charity so I can speak with the right spirit.

It was painful weeding out my budding feelings of resentment and growing animosity but the peace that followed was worth it. Then I remembered The Nine Steps of Forgiveness and Healing From Abuse from my files:

Accept reality, come out of denial, acknowledge and condemn sin [but not the sinner]. BLESSING: A fullness of joy
Protect yourself from further harm. [You have a stewardship to care for yourself.] BLESSING: Justice and safety
Pray for your offender, with specifics.
BLESSING: Your heart is softened.
Honest grief over loss and pain.
BLESSING: Freedom to receive real healing [not just stuffed feelings]
Resist bitterness and animosity.
BLESSING: Humility
Be accountable for your own reaction to abuse.
BLESSING: Control and personal power
Receive the Atonement of Christ, face our own weakness and give it to Him.
BLESSING: Your burden is lifted.
Let go of anger, pain, blame and shame/guilt.
BLESSING: Restoration of personal dignity
Offer compassion and understanding [this is not approval of abuse].
BLESSING: Empowerment, fullness of joy (full circle back to Step 1)

My process didn’t follow this sequence in order, but I’ve covered the bases and am working on the final steps. This week, I looked Step 7 squarely in the eye and didn’t like how I was feeling. It wasn’t worthy of a Christian, so I told my ego to “take a hike”! I’m preparing to tackle Step 9 and am asking the Lord to give me the words, the compassion, and the confidence to undertake this in the proper spirit.

I think forgiveness is one of the hardest challenges we face, but it’s also one of the most liberating. It sets us free from the past, and it also sets those who hurt us free – to change or not. Then it’s between them and their maker, not between them and us!

If you’re feeling burdened by the past, please let the Master Healer help release you.

Peace at the Heart of the Rose
Courtesy Pixabay.com Image 270729

Tackling Big Challenges

When I was working full-time, it was easier to structure my time. At work, I had deadlines and many set tasks that carried me through my day. As soon as I walked in my door, I opened mail, put away my shopping, and started dinner without batting an eyelash. The momentum of the day carried me past dinnertime. By the time I could quit, the critical things were done and I could relax.

Now that I’m mostly retired, I find time management to be a bigger challenge. You’d think with more time and fewer tasks, it would be easier! But now I am getting to the projects I’d had to put off previously: deeper gospel study, gardening, keeping up with friends, bigger projects with grandkids, and finally getting my house really in order.

It helps me to remember a freelance photographer describing how he worked. He categorized work into A, B, and C TASKS:

A‘s were the big ones – they take time as well as creative and emotional energy – easy to put off. Examples: Writing my blog post for the week or cooking a company dinner.
B‘s are medium sized – still somewhat time-consuming but less daunting: Editing and typing the final draft of a report or doing an hour’s ironing.
C‘s are short and easy – we can string several together and hardly feel it: Emptying the dishwasher, checking email, changing the laundry, etc.

Then he went on to talk about A, B, and C TIME:

A‘s are peak energy and a bigger chunk of time – mornings for most of us, long evenings for night owls.
B‘s are winding up or winding down time – transitioning out of high energy – and a little shorter.
C‘s are low energy times when we need to relax, putter around, and reflect, and may only be a few minutes.

Here’s the kicker: We need to match A Tasks with A Time and so on, for maximum productivity. I then remembered a talk on time management with an object lesson (shown below), using tennis balls, ping pong balls and marbles (A, B, and C Tasks) in a bowl (the productive part of your day). The speaker made the point that if you start filling your day with the multitude of easy tasks facing you, then move to the harder ones, and leaving the big tough ones until last, it will look like the bowl on the left. You’ll get to the end of your day facing the biggest tasks when you’re most tired and least motivated. You’ll feel guilty for not getting to all of them. And you’ll have gaps in your day when you’re bored but don’t have enough time to tackle the big projects, so you can’t really relax and enjoy it.

Now look at the bowl on the right. The same number of tasks are facing you, but you start by tackling A Tasks in A Time, then fill in the remaining time with B Tasks first, and C Tasks second. This way, you can both pace yourself and get it all done before the end of your day.

I’ve been holding my feet to the fire this week and tackling the daunting projects early in the day, early in the week, and at the peak of my energy. I still want to procrastinate, but my mantra is NO EXCUSES! And here’s the payday: There’s more satisfaction – way more – tied to A Tasks relative to the time and energy invested, and far more momentum to carry us into the next big project than if we miss that peak moment.

Tuesday I forced myself to go out in the heat of early afternoon and face my research goal at our local Family History Center. I was rusty and had hit wall after wall this spring while working on my own. This time, with help from two wonderful women, I identified my great grandmother Anderson’s brother Frederick to flesh out his family and do their temple work. He married Arianna Lorton in his late thirties, died five years later, childless, all in Davenport, Iowa. Arianna buried him in Chicago and moved there. Three years later, census records show her working as a hairdresser and as a Boarder with a single woman with a Machine Shop. I imagined them with living quarters above the shop, possibly with other boarders. Arianna’s death record many years later show her name still as Anderson; I assume she never remarried. I found her parents and siblings in the area, so she wasn’t alone. It felt like a little window back into history, and it tugged at my heart. Frederick was my great grandmother’s only sibling. I imagine she greatly missed him and will be thrilled to have them sealed to their family for the next life.

A final memory comes back to me: diving off the board at the City Pool as a teenager. I would walk quickly to the end and jump straight up while pushing the end of the board downward. As I dropped, the board came up, hitting my feet to spring me into the air and give my dive energy and height. If you hit it just right, it’s a little scary but much more exciting than just diving off the end of a stationary board. Using our creative energy synchronized with life’s timing is a lot like that. My second post, The Gems Within, talks about a life force out there that wants to work through us. Now I realize we have to use it at flood tide and not when it’s ebbing away – the ride into shore is thrilling and worth the effort!

Diver on Springboard
Courtesy Wikipedia Commons

One Foot Into the Darkness

As I rest and gather my forces for what may be coming up on the horizon, I find myself being dragged towards sloth. I watch the birds at my feeder long enough that I’m almost starting to name them. The house has never been so clean and orderly. I read scriptures twice a day and keep up with friends. But I’m not plugging into the larger picture. Finally I realize that the future isn’t just going to happen to me but it’s something I have to help co-create.

What’s calling to me? Family history research, increased temple attendance, finding ways to “defend the faith” online, plus unearthing those special real estate clients for whom I’m the right match. And of course, more writing. I have a small booklet on managing children’s behavior I wrote during my teaching days that I want to convert to an ebook and my phonics readers to publish. It all looks rather daunting, so I’m tempted to retreat back into more trivial pursuits, like perfecting my gluten-free crepe recipe!

Recalling again the Lord’s counsel to Joshua, about to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land: Be strong and of a good courage, . . . I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. (Joshua 1:5-6) And He didn’t: The Israelites prevailed over the idolatrous Caanites. I could therefore attack my to-do list with courage and confidence. However, my energy level won’t stand a big push right now, so I remembered other counsel, given to Elder Boyd K. Packer, soon after being called as an LDS General Authority:

I was very willing to be obedient but saw no way possible for me to do as he counseled me to do. I returned to Elder [Harold B. ] Lee and told him that I saw no way to move in the direction I was counseled to go. He said, “The trouble with you is you want to see the end from the beginning.” I replied that I would like to see at least a step or two ahead. Then came the lesson of a lifetime: “You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you” (“The Edge of the Light,” BYU Today, March 1991, 22–23).

So I’m resolving to just take the first steps on my projects. This afternoon I’ll toodle off to the temple and perform an endowment for a female ancestor who’s waited long enough. The Lord blessed me with the inspiration for this post last night, so it flowed easily. I’ll print my real estate flyers today and mail them on Monday. Next week, I’ll read up on ebooks and research blog directories to find missionary opportunities.

Then I remembered a lesson from my days living in the woods of New Hampshire. We burned wood for most of our heat, much of which needed to be split. We used the “hard” varieties like maple and oak which mightily resisted being split with an ax, even a sharp one. So Pete and I learned to use a wedge and maul. You make the first cut with an ax, then insert the point of the wedge, driving it down progressively with each strike of the maul. Finally, the thing splits in two. In a battle between the tortoise and the hare, the tortoise wins here every time.

So if you’re facing a daunting challenge, remember you only have to make one strike at a time, but each strike widens the split in the wood, giving momentum to our motivation. The wedge, or God’s grace, is the multiplier.

Splitting Wood
Courtesy Pixabay.com Image 5916

A Dog Named Jake

We often comment on how people influence us, but today my memories center on a dog. His owner Bob was a friend during my days in New Hampshire. Bob was a great guy and so was his black Labrador, Jake. He was a powerful, strong-willed animal whose profile jutted into the wind like a ship’s figurehead. But ironically, he was also calm and very obedient to Bob’s commands. When we were visiting, Jake would lie quietly and not disrupt our visit. When it was time to go out and play catch, he was all over it, tail-wagging and eager. I asked Bob what made Jake such a terrific dog. His answer: “Because I’m a fascist with him!” He didn’t mean that he was harsh with Jake, just clear and very firm.

One day when Bob got up to leave, I stayed in my rocking chair with Jake on the floor beside me. As soon as Bob called for Jake to leave, he immediately followed Bob without looking back. I remembered I hadn’t said goodbye to Jake as I always did. I called out to him – he immediately turned on a dime and came right over, wagging his tail. I scratched his ears and shared a nice moment; then they were gone.

I want to be like Jake: moving forward decisively without hesitation but also able to make a course correction, even an extreme one, quickly and with grace. My recent home re-organization could easily have created resistance since it came with some real surprises and serious drudgery, as well as shrinking my world. Coming to the end of my “40 years in the wilderness” had left me listless and drained. After a week of puttering, watching movies in the afternoon, and sleeping in, energy was emerging and well-being was returning. I now had a clear choice: drag my feet looking back or just go with it, like Jake.

Then I remembered an old Native American custom: When their people were sad or stuck, they would make them walk along a moving river until their emotions and thoughts moved too. So I just started moving more: parking myself at the computer, putting the last books in place, going for walks, calling old friends. I remembered my love of bike riding. It’s pretty hard to balance when you’re stopped but so easy and free when you’re moving.

Finally, when my thoughts needed rearranging, I often played Free Cell on my laptop. Okay, it’s my guilty secret, so sue me! But as I rearrange cards, I play with my thoughts, like fingering marbles in my pocket. A half hour or an hour later, I have a whole new perspective. Not a bad investment. Capped off with heart-felt prayer and taking direction from my Heavenly Father, I can see clearly once again.

Conclusion: movement is magic! Whether, it’s dancing, sports, housework, or simply spiritual and mental pondering, they can break those resistant log-jams so we don’t get bogged down. Try it, you’ll like it!

Wherefore . . . seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand.
For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy,
over all his works. (Book of Mormon, Jacob 4:10)

A Dog Named Jake
Courtesy Pixabay.com Image 143753

The Field Lies Fallow

I’ve been struggling to put my thoughts on paper this week and they hadn’t come together by yesterday when I decided – duh! – to finally pray about it. Immediately the title “The Field Lies Fallow” sprang to mind. Perhaps there was a reason I suddenly felt blah, creatively.

Looking to the past, I realized that I was completing a personal “40 years in the wilderness” this month. In May of 1974, I decisively put my foot on the path of a Christian, having received my first answer to prayer and making a real change in lifestyle. Those 40 years were spent reconciling my three identities: Iowa school girl, New England hippie, and Utah Mormon. It’s been a long trek, punctuated with many blessings, certainly, but also almost constant adversity. Just as the ancient Israelites had to leave Egypt and wander 40 years in the desert of Sinai, to lose its worldly ways, I had to learn to live by Christian principles through the things I experienced.

Looking to the future, I sense new directions on the horizon. I’ve just completed a massive reorganization of my home. I doubled, maybe tripled my energy level by using St. John’s Wort for seasonal fatigue and probiotics for improved digestion. I was excited to expand my writing online, find new real estate clients, and return to family history research.

Coincidentally, my Sunday School lesson last week was about Joshua as Moses’ successor and how he prepared the 12 tribes of Israel for the new challenge of entering, then conquering the Promised Land of Canaan. If they would study and ponder the ancient scriptures, rededicate themselves spiritually, then exercise faith and courage, the Lord promised Joshua and all Israel:

“As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” (Joshua 1:5)

His first challenge soon appeared. Joshua and the Priesthood of Israel had to hold back the waters of the Jordan River for the Israelites to cross over on dry ground, then they conquered Jericho, not through human strength but by obeying instructions from the Lord that must have seemed crazy (walk around the city blowing a trumpet for six days, then seven times on the seventh day, finally giving a loud shout), from Joshua 6. The Israelites had prepared inwardly and then triumphed outwardly as the walls of Jericho all fell down at their shout.

What are the odds that I would be assigned this particular lesson that so closely mirrored my own path? I felt deeply touched and reassured I would have God’s support in whatever lay ahead. How often are we all faced with a new chapter or challenge in our lives, must “gird up our loins” with greater faith, and step into darkness with courage? I think that Joshua’s promise holds true for all people who sincerely seek after what’s good and true.

Finally, I remembered a lovely book, The Faithful Gardener by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. (See my review under Books.) Her opening quote says:

New seed is faithful. It roots deepest in the places that are most empty.

I realized that I wasn’t giving myself time to become empty or “lie fallow” so I could mediate, rededicate, and renew myself. I will slow down in the coming weeks and let the future creep up on me the way plants come back after a forest fire or grass emerges each spring.

Whether your journey changes course through a happy change or through fiery adversity, good can always arise from those ashes. Ms. Estés concludes with A Prayer:

Refuse to fall down.
If you cannot refuse to fall down,
refuse to stay down.
If you cannot refuse to stay down,
lift your heart towards heaven,
and like a hungry beggar,
ask that it be filled,
And it will be filled.
You may be pushed down.
You may be kept from rising.
But no one can keep you
from lifting your heart
toward heaven –
only you.
It is in the middle of misery
that so much becomes clear.
The one who says nothing good
came of this,
is not yet listening.

Fallow Field Courtesy Pixabay.com Image 140589

The Field Lies Fallow
Courtesy Pixabay.com Image 140589

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